Boston Terrier Phones out. If your Boston Terrier ever figured out how to unlock your screen, scroll through your contacts, and fire off a text, your inbox would never recover.
These little tuxedo gremlins have a lot to say. They just lack the thumbs. But if they didn’t? Oh, the messages would be relentless, unhinged, and honestly pretty on-brand for a breed that operates at exactly two speeds: chaos and nap.
We rounded up 10 texts your Boston Terrier would absolutely, 100% send you. Read them. Then go hug your dog, because they deserve it.
1. "I Heard You Open the Treat Bag from Upstairs. I’m Coming."
Bostons have ears like satellites. The crinkle of a bag, the click of a cabinet, the particular sound of the cheese drawer sliding open. They know.
This text would arrive before you even processed what you were doing. Two seconds later, a 20-pound tornado would be skidding across the kitchen floor toward your feet.
"I was not sleeping. I was simply waiting with my eyes closed."
No snack is eaten alone in this household. You signed up for that the moment you brought them home.
2. "Why Did You Close the Bathroom Door"
No question mark. Because it’s not really a question.
Your Boston Terrier genuinely cannot comprehend why privacy exists. You are their person. The bathroom is just a room. Closed doors are a personal offense in their mind, and they will sit outside and stare at the crack of light underneath until you feel guilty enough to open it.
They will paw at the door. They will whine. They will make it weird.
3. "I Sat on the Remote and Now Something Called ‘The Golf Channel’ Is Happening"
This one is purely accidental, but still very much your problem.
Bostons love to dramatically flop onto the couch with zero regard for what’s already there. Remotes, glasses, your lunch. It’s all just a landing pad to them. The text would probably be followed by a blurry photo of the TV, their paw in the corner of the frame.
You’re going home to fix it. Obviously.
H2: The Texts That Would Come While You’re at Work
4. "It Has Been 4 Hours. This Is a Crisis."
Time works differently for Boston Terriers. Four hours might as well be four years.
They are not dramatic. They are deeply dramatic.
This text would come with a selfie taken from a weird angle, their face smooshed against the couch cushion, eyes wide and tragic. Caption: evidence.
5. "The Mailman Came. I Handled It."
You don’t want to know what "handling it" looked like.
There was barking. Probably spinning. At least one full sprint from the front window to the back door and back again just to cover all angles. Your Boston is fully convinced they are the reason the mailman keeps leaving, and honestly, they’re not entirely wrong.
"My bark is a service. This neighborhood doesn’t know how good they have it."
6. "I Found Your Good Sock Behind the Dryer. It’s Mine Now."
This would be sent with a photo.
The sock would be in their mouth, but they wouldn’t be chewing it. Just holding it. Proud. Like a trophy. Bostons don’t always destroy things. Sometimes they just claim them, and that’s almost worse because you can see exactly what’s happening and they do not care.
7. "Can You Ask the Cat to Move? She’s in My Spot. I’ve Asked Nicely."
"Asked nicely" means they’ve been staring for 45 minutes.
Your Boston would never actually confront the cat. The politics of multi-pet households are delicate, and Bostons are bold but not stupid. They know the cat will win. So instead, they send a formal complaint via text, hoping you’ll be the one to intervene.
The cat will not move. You will not make her. The Boston will eventually squeeze into six inches of available couch and act like they planned it that way.
The Late Night Texts
8. "I Heard a Sound. Could Be Nothing. Could Be Everything. I’m On It."
Sent at 2:47 a.m.
Your Boston Terrier takes home security very seriously. The sound was probably the house settling, or maybe a raccoon outside, or possibly just their own heartbeat startling them awake. Regardless, they are alert, ears rotating like little radar dishes, ready to protect you from whatever threat may or may not exist.
They will bark once, loudly, and then go back to sleep.
9. "You’re on My Side of the Bed"
There are no sides. The bed belongs to the Boston.
Somehow, despite being small enough to tuck under your arm, they will have migrated overnight until you’re clinging to the edge and they’re sprawled like a starfish in the center. This text would be sent while you’re still in the bed. They’d be looking directly at you when they sent it.
"I don’t make the rules. Actually, I do. I make all the rules."
10. "Okay But What Time Are You Coming Home Though"
The most important text on this list.
Not needy. Not clingy. Just genuinely curious, every single day, because you are their favorite part of everything. They want to know when you’re coming back so they can start preparing the proper level of excitement. That means pacing by the door, doing what can only be described as a happy scream, and then launching themselves at you like you’ve been gone for a decade.
Even if you were only at the grocery store.
Bostons love fiercely and they love loudly. Their whole personality is built around being near their person, in the same room, on the same couch, under the same blanket if possible. So yes, they would absolutely blow up your phone every day.
And honestly? You’d love every single text.
So What Would You Text Back?
The real question isn’t what your Boston would send. It’s what you’d say in return.
Probably something like "I’m five minutes away," which they cannot read, but you’d still send it. Because that’s what you do when someone loves you that much. You answer.